By Renee Pullman

I saw a terrible fight today between a young couple who are friends of mine – they have a baby together and were trying to make it.

He had left home the morning before to see about a problem with their car, he last talked to her at 9pm. He was talking to a mechanic about the car trouble. By midnight he hadn’t called back, wasn’t answering his phone, and she was upset. She didn’t hear from him until early afternoon on the next day and so it was goodbye. She had all of his stuff packed up and ready to go when he came in. She told him to leave gave him a note saying she hated him and regretted it the rest of the day.

It sounds like he has something to hide doesn’t it? Yet, it turns out he just acted stupid or perhaps was a victim of circumstance, you can decide.

After the mechanic, he went by his mothers and fell asleep on her couch – of course his cell phone had run down and wasn’t receiving calls and the baby had kept them both up for several nights in a row and both were tired and stressed. His mom went to work early the next day and he slept on. The next afternoon he went home to the fiery welcome.

It has been several days now and while I believe this will work out I’m not sure.

Where is the blame? All night long she was alone with the baby and worried about him. At some point her inner conversation turned from concern to “why is he doing this to me?”

On the previous day he had left a stressful situation with the baby, happy to get away and onto some manly thing like fixing the car. He had avoided calling because he didn’t want to hear any more about it just then.

So the trap was set, two parties in a relationship who care about and love each other but who have not yet learned to look far enough beyond themselves to see the whole situation before playing their big card in the game, the biggest card they both have – anger. In their families it was one of the big ways to settle things, get mad first and get what you want.

She is still mad because now he is not fulfilling his obligation to help with the baby and is getting off Scott free. He says he never wants to see her again.

This situation could have been avoided with better communication skills. It is a common response with many couples to never really talk through annoying situations and then when something a little bigger happens they play the anger card first. The other person then retaliates in kind and it all spirals out of control with no clear way to reel it back in.

You can learn how to get him back after a breakup by discovering better ways to communicate both with yourself and within your relationship. Just click on the link or go directly to http://www.TheMagicOfMakingUpFast.com.

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