By Renee Pullman

Communication is the key to any relationship. This goes well beyond any man-woman relationship; it is a timeless tenant for any organization including men and women. A broken relationship will result if you don’t communicate, listen, and understand each other.

Lack of understanding can come about because even though you may both speak English you may relate to the world in different ways. The science of neuro linguistic programming teaches us that there are three main types of oral communications between people:

1. Visual

2. Auditory

3. Kinesthetic or feeling

These levels are based on our senses and the senses that we favor as we process the world.

Most of us communicate on a visual level. They may use expressions like, “yes I can see that” or “I see what you are saying,” and other ways involving visual words.

The next largest group of us communicates using auditory methods. This group uses phrases like: “I hear you,” and similar audio based words.

The smallest group, Kinesthetic, use feeling expressions like: “I feel that we should go to a movie.” I feel, it touches me, and so on.

What is your portal to the world? Do you relate mostly by what you see, what you hear, or what you feel? Do you know that these are filters? When you talk to others if they relate mostly by feel and you see their point while they feel yours then it becomes more difficult for the two of you to relate to each other.

The next thing to consider is non-verbal communications. This means noticing both the tone of the response as well as body language. Someone may say yes in agreement but say it with such a tone that you know they don’t really mean it. Their body language will speak here as well. Arms crossed and a stern tone of voice gives an entirely different message than just the word “yes.”

When you and your partner communicate do you really understand each other? Check if you say, “I see” and your partner says “I feel” or “I hear you.” Look at them as you speak, see what their eyes do, how they move their body. Really notice what is going on because, yes communication takes place on all of these levels.

Watch how you communicate as well. We all unconsciously give clues to what is going on in our heads by the words we use, the intonation of them, and our movements, expressions, and other physiology.

Picking up these new kinds of listening skills can help you in your relationship and in life because you will understand more deeply what is going on in your communications. Our communications determine expectations for each other. Bad communications and crushed expectations means a broken relationship almost every time.

Saving A relationship is made easier when you understand the right ways of communicating. Discover the secrets of relationships by clicking the link or just go directly to http://www.TheMagicOfMakingUpFast.com. Visit us and get your free relationship report and access to a special relationship video.

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