By Renee Pullman

Men, Be Prepared To Be Shafted In Divorce Court

If you are a man in America facing divorce court you need to be aware that the deck is stacked against you. The little woman is going to get the benefit of the doubt and all of the breaks.

This means that you will get shafted unless you take control and lay down strategies that have proven to work. Your divorce attorney, most likely, has a view of how things should turn out. It probably is based on his expectation that men always come out on the loser side of the divorce.

Manage Your Divorce

The first thing you need to do is manage him, set a new expectation for him. Learn what is possible for you in divorce and use that as a new model for him. Show him the outcome you expect and find out if he is willing to work with you.

Watch The Money

Of course you need to be on top of the money as well. Close joint accounts, you don’t need to be bleed while you are going through divorce, close these joint accounts before she drains everything out of them. Remember there is no real trust left in the marriage or you wouldn’t be in divorce court.

The Real Battle Is Won In Your Mind, Stay Positive

You must keep positive during the divorce. The battle is won in the mind, in your mind. It is always so. If you get down and depressed then you will not be making good decisions. Perhaps there will even be false accusations made against you. Betrayal after betrayal, you need to keep positive and not let these things affect your decisions.

You can win your divorce, divorce for men doesn’t have to be a losing game. I invite you to visit http://www.formendivorce.com and find a winning strategy.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Renee_Pullman
http://EzineArticles.com/?Divorce-For-Men—How-To-Win-Your-Divorce&id=5576885

Divorce for men: http://www.formendivorce.com/ you can win your divorce, a solid plan with tactics designed for the particular needs of men in divorce. (more…)

http://www.formendivorce.com/ Find out the best way to prepare for divorce. Failure to prepare can cost you not only money but your children, the things you love, and money. You can win: prepare. (more…)

http://www.formendivorce.com/ Find out the best way to prepare for divorce. Failure to prepare can cost you not only money but your children, the things you love, and money. You can win: prepare. (more…)

By Renee Pullman

The deck is stacked against men in divorce court. Just last week an acquittance was shutdown by the judge and not fully allowed to tell his story. He had gotten angry, did something stupid, and now his battle is even more uphill.

In dissolving a marriage, emotions are all wrapped around your future and it is tough to see right from wrong. You want to take action and protect your family all the while it is being torn apart by the woman that you loved, or perhaps still do love. You want to protect that relationship and it is painful that it is being torn up.

The facts are you need to protect your future. There is a life for you on the other side of the divorce but not if you throw it away with self-destructive behavior, stupid actions, and doing things to take care of her. Face it – she is out for herself.

What you need to do now is slow your thoughts down and trust.

How do you slow your thoughts down?

The easiest way I know is thought replacement. Your mind is racing off on a tragic end to everything and that is all you can see or think of. This is where you replace that thought with an answer. If you are religious then follow Norman Vincent Peale’s ideas about using scriptures. Your response might b e “I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me.” Not religious, not Christian, no problem, the same strategy works with great quotes that have meaning for you. Great quotes like Emerson’s: “do the thing and you shall have the power,” or Perseus, “he conquers who endures.” Find some meaningful quotes that empower you and use them over and over, as needed, to answer these destructive thoughts. Do this because you need to take smart action and not action out of fear or anger. You need this to anchor you and to keep you looking forward.

Now that you are managing yourself, begin to think of what you want out of this, what you need to support your new life. Take this information and begin to manage your divorce, manage your lawyer. Don’t think you can get a satisfactory outcome by outsourcing your divorce to your attorney, no, no, no. Attorneys are busy and you need to stay on top of it to be sure it is done correctly.

These are the first steps to winning your divorce when you are ready for the next step just click the link or go directly to http://www.formendivorce.com/.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Renee_Pullman
http://EzineArticles.com/?Divorce-For-Men,-How-to-Break-Free-of-Your-Own-Destructive-Thoughts-and-Take-Charge-of-Your-Divorce&id=4635834

By Renee Pullman

Divorce for men can be all uphill. If you are involved in divorce the feelings that come out from this can be so intense that you may feel like you are about to be emasculated. At that time, many men lash out in anger – they have a testosterone moment and divorce rage erupts.

This anger could range from throwing the new flat-screen TV through the window, to taking a ball bat to the car headlights so she can’t leave, taking a friend with you to push your way into her new apartment to get some things straight, to a black eye, and other such inappropriate behavior. The thing is this type of behavior is just what she needs to in essence emasculate you in a legal way by having you arrested and humiliating you in court. If there is ever a time that you need to rein in emotions and testosterone reactions it is in a divorce situation when you are feeling the most burdened down, the most like you want to do something. The something you must do is control the emotions, but how?

I’ve talked previously about finding power phrases to keep you centered and help you avoid depression, the same kind of response can handle this. The most common way of describing this activity is self-talk.

What kinds of things do you say to yourself?

Most of us have a more or less constant conversations going on with ourselves. We get a break when we are asleep, at a movie, a concert, or other entertainment. It lessens when we are at work or otherwise concentrating and yet it is there. The voices that come up occasionally are new thoughts or inspiration but for most these kinds of thoughts are blocked by the negative voices within. Perhaps by expressions we heard from our families, or from being called names when we were young. Worst of all is our own voices of condemnation when we have failed at something, or didn’t approach a person we were interested in, or take the deal we should have taken because we were afraid.

Some silence those voices by destructive behavior, others can’t get past it and don’t sleep well, and many other less than useful ways. If you are involved in divorce perhaps the voices condemn you for your failings in the relationship, maybe you become the last guy, or last woman that anyone would ever want and all is lost.

When these conversations in your head erupt you need to be ready to answer? You don’t even have to believe these answers when you start as long as they convey a positive message and a positive answer for you. You will come to believe them and come to take positive action on them. Your homework for this article is consider what you want post-divorce and find some dialog to answer the negatives with. Get a motivational quotes book and pull some quotes out that speak to you and have them ready to add to and control this inner dialog with.

So when you are about to take a ball bat to her car or throw the TV out the window have an answer ready – you do not have to act in an insane way that will entrap you, you don’t have to act in a way that will figuratively emasculate you at the end of the divorce.

You need to learn the words to say to yourself to rein things in and put yourself in control. You can take control of yourself and your divorce. This doesn’t mean that everything that happens will be exactly to your liking, but if you take charge of yourself, your life, and your divorce you can get an outcome that you will like.

Successful divorce for men starts with the mental game, it means learning the steps of the process so you never feel lost, it means the mental game and what to say to yourself, it means learning the strategies and tactics that will produce a winning outcome: http://www.formendivorce.com/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Renee_Pullman
http://EzineArticles.com/?Divorce-For-Men,-Speak-to-the-Anger,-Avoid-That-Testosterone-Moment&id=4646436

By Renee Pullman

Divorce for men can be one of the most upsetting experiences of your life but I’m here to tell you to relax. The only reason your wife and her divorce attorney can torture you is because you assist them.

Many men when caught in the divorce trap respond on their emotions. Funny how men are supposed to be so unemotional, but they cry, grieve, and worry as much or more than women. Society, though has told them that “big boys don’t cry.” And so they do their best to hold it in which makes it more likely to come out as anger. If it does, her divorce attorney will love it. You have given him exactly what he needs to begin to cause you real trouble.

The fact is if you understand what is happening and what your options are, if you understand that you need to keep on top of your case and act in a rational manner, rather than emotionally, then you can prevail. Your wife’s attorney will wonder what happened.

Here are some tips.

1. If you are having trouble reigning in your emotions tough it out and get help. If you need to talk to someone then do it. This could be a friend who is not prone to anger and who has good judgment or you may want to find some professional help.

2. Figure out how you want this divorce to end. You need to bring stuff out of the marriage for your new and better life on the other side of it. The point of this is you need to plan without restriction and then study the ways you can make it happen. Remember that you will not make it happen with anger, particularly if you act on the anger. It doesn’t matter what the provocation might be – suck it up.

3. Learn all of the procedures, techniques, and nuance of the divorce process. As you learn this you will feel more confident of an outcome that you can live with. This will further help you with your emotions and anger over the divorce. Understanding will put you out of anger mode and back in control.

You may be – being accused of some outlandish things, perhaps you’ve done something stupid out of grief or anger and have been put out of your home, follow the steps and relief will follow as you gain control and make better decisions about the divorce and about your future.

Divorce for men can be a brutal process if you are not informed. Learn how it works and how you can gain an edge as you work through your divorce. Discover divorce secrets that her divorce lawyer doesn’t want you to know and win your divorce. Click the link or visit http://www.Squidoo.com/DivorceForMen.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Renee_Pullman
http://EzineArticles.com/?Divorce-For-Men-(Do-You-Feel-Like-You-Are-Being-Water-Boarded-by-Your-Wife-and-Her-Divorce-Attorney?)&id=4706626

By Renee Pullman

The deck is stacked against men in divorce court. Just last week an acquittance was shutdown by the judge and not fully allowed to tell his story. He had gotten angry, did something stupid, and now his battle is even more uphill.

In dissolving a marriage, emotions are all wrapped around your future and it is tough to see right from wrong. You want to take action and protect your family all the while it is being torn apart by the woman that you loved, or perhaps still do love. You want to protect that relationship and it is painful that it is being torn up.

The facts are you need to protect your future. There is a life for you on the other side of the divorce but not if you throw it away with self-destructive behavior, stupid actions, and doing things to take care of her. Face it – she is out for herself.

What you need to do now is slow your thoughts down and trust.

How do you slow your thoughts down?

The easiest way I know is thought replacement. Your mind is racing off on a tragic end to everything and that is all you can see or think of. This is where you replace that thought with an answer. If you are religious then follow Norman Vincent Peale’s ideas about using scriptures. Your response might b e “I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me.” Not religious, not Christian, no problem, the same strategy works with great quotes that have meaning for you. Great quotes like Emerson’s: “do the thing and you shall have the power,” or Perseus, “he conquers who endures.” Find some meaningful quotes that empower you and use them over and over, as needed, to answer these destructive thoughts. Do this because you need to take smart action and not action out of fear or anger. You need this to anchor you and to keep you looking forward.

Now that you are managing yourself, begin to think of what you want out of this, what you need to support your new life. Take this information and begin to manage your divorce, manage your lawyer. Don’t think you can get a satisfactory outcome by outsourcing your divorce to your attorney, no, no, no. Attorneys are busy and you need to stay on top of it to be sure it is done correctly.

These are the first steps to winning your divorce when you are ready for the next step just click the link or go directly to http://www.formendivorce.com/.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Renee_Pullman
http://EzineArticles.com/?Divorce-For-Men,-How-to-Break-Free-of-Your-Own-Destructive-Thoughts-and-Take-Charge-of-Your-Divorce&id=4635834

By Renee Pullman

Maybe you didn’t see this coming, maybe you felt blindsided when your wife filed for divorce. None of that matters right now. What matters right now is getting a good plan going to deal with it.

Divorce for men is not the level playing field that you might suppose, there is a cultural, legal, and first filer advantage in divorce court. Since women file for divorce at twice the rate of men, the deck is stacked in their favor, but all is not lost. Get an effective plan:

The plan is nothing, planning is everything.

Those words belong to Dwight David Eisenhower and that is what he had to say about the D-Day plan. General Eisenhower mounted the greatest invasion in military history knowing that his plan was full of danger and that many parts of it just would not work, yet it was necessary to plan. I order to plan he needed the best intelligence and information he could get about what he faced on the other side of the English Channel. The deck was stacked against the Allies just as it is for a man in divorce court and the same kind attention to detail, the same understanding of the processes will also lead to your victory.

Planning out and managing your divorce is especially important and here is an important point. You cannot outsource this. Hire an attorney but don’t just leave it up to him. Learn the ins and outs of divorce; learn what is possible – how you can win, and how men get screwed. The wrong thing done here or there can literally cost you thousands of dollars.

Learn the process and determine your outcome then set the strategies to get there. You have a life on the other side of the divorce and you want to come to that life prepared to live it. You don’t want to come out of divorce court stripped and humiliated and owing a lot of money to her.

When you hire an attorney be prepared to manage the case with him. Attorneys are hard working people. They want to do a good job for you but face it, you are one small case to him. Keep on top of things yourself and be sure is doesn’t just bargain your future away so he can earn a quick fee and get on to something else. Really learn the process, make the plans, and get him to help you make it so.

Divorce for men doesn’t have to mean the go to court and lose strategy that many men seem to use. You really can win this thing. Just click the link or go directly to http://www.ForMenDivorce.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Renee_Pullman
http://EzineArticles.com/?Divorce-For-Men,-Know-Your-Outcome-and-Win-in-Divorce-Court&id=4602896

By Renee Pullman

Your wife has filed for divorce (women do this 2 to 1 over men). Now she seems to want everything that matters to you and a huge chunk of everything you might earn in the future. This is where a lot of men get upset and afraid. This is a shock and awe technique that her attorney has learned at the sleaze school of divorce.

Do women win these kinds of settlements? You bet they do. The man gets hit with this sort of thing and gets stupid. He does some dumb things, she gets a restraining order and he is put out of his house. He looks bad in the eyes of the judge and perhaps even to his own attorney.

The guy is there grieving over lost love and now gets hit over the head. Maybe he’ll start drinking more, get depressed, or any of a number of self-destructive behaviors that all work to her advantage. All of it hurts him.

1. She does not love you
2. She does not really care what happens to you
3. She is out for herself
4. She wants you as her personal ongoing income source

To be honest most divorces are much more civil, but this kind of thing goes on and there are many sob stories out on the net of just this kind of thing. Whether it happens all the time or not, the lessons are there that apply to everyone.

The fact is she will not have your interests at heart anymore; she is rightly out for herself. The same should be true for you and you need to get on this thing and work it to your advantage. This means learning the ins and outs of divorce and how you can use this information to your advantage, for example: when you hire a divorce attorney.

Do you know the questions to ask when you are shopping for an attorney? Do you know enough about the process to help plan an effective divorce strategy – and more important, do you know enough to manage the attorney and manage your case? This is one area where men run into problems. They try to outsource the whole divorce and while you might want to let someone handle it and hope the whole thing goes away, it is a poor strategy.

You can get stuck with thousands of dollars in extras if you don’t stay on top of things and understand it all as it goes down.

Divorce for men doesn’t have to be the go to court and lose strategy that many men seem to use. You really can win this thing. Just click the link or go directly to http://www.ForMenDivorce.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Renee_Pullman
http://EzineArticles.com/?Divorce-For-Men,-She-is-Out-For-Herself,-Divorce-Tactics-to-Help-You-Win-the-Divorce&id=4602933

By Renee Pullman

With divorce for men it is reality that in 2 out of three cases the wife will file and the man will be served divorce papers. This is a strategic advantage for her because many times the judge will grant motions in this filing. You may be accused of abuse and put out of your home.

If this has happened to you take heart, it is only a temporary set back if you act quickly and in the right way. Being a man, you are at a disadvantage, in most courts presumption goes in favor of the wife. Now you have a second burden in that she has filed first. At this point it is probably best for you to have an attorney. This is not the end of your participation in your divorce however. There is no one who will care more about what happens next and in the future than you. Don’t trust this just to your divorce attorney. These people are busy and things will go undone. You need to learn the divorce tactics and strategies that are being used against you, and you need to learn what needs to be done to counter them and manage your case. Charges made against you need to be countered. You cannot let untruth stand unanswered.

Here are three tips that can save you not only a great deal of money but that can take some of the pain away from the divorce process.

1. When you look for your attorney be aware that women lawyers can be some of the most aggressive when fighting for their clients. So just because your wife has waged war against you don’t think you need a man to counter her.
2. Keep your head in the game. Her attorney has attacked and the purpose, beyond strategic advantage is to get you off-balance and angry. When you are angry you are more apt to do stupid things. These things will not go well for you in court and could wind you up in jail. She and her attorney will probably celebrate that achievement. So if pain and anger wiles up inside of you, you have to be ready to counter it with something. Take no physical action but direct all of this negative energy into learning the divorce process and what is possible to attain.
3. Expect a positive result. One thing to realize is you really don’t want her. Sometimes marriages end amicably but more often there are issues and betrayal that create negativity between you and your wife. This can hurt and make you think the world has ended but I promise you it has not. I promise you that there will be a good life for you on the other side of this divorce if you maintain expectancy and manage your case. If things begin to weigh on you, take a moment and go forward in time and see your great new life on the other side of this thing. Remember that you will be bringing all the things you need from this marriage to help you achieve it. See it, believe it. Wayne Dyer said, “you must believe it before you see it.” Believe it this is some of the most sound advice you will ever get.

Win your divorce! Divorce for men means learning all of the tactics and strategies that will give you the insider information to come out of divorce court without losing everything. Divorce Strategy for Men is insider tactics and strategies that will help you prevail in your divorce.

http://www.squidoo.com/DivorceForMen is all about divorce for men – tactics, strategy, and how to keep your money, your kids, and your stuff.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Renee_Pullman
http://EzineArticles.com/?Divorce-For-Men,-She-Filed-and-Youve-Been-Served,-What-Now?&id=4386298

By Renee Pullman

Children and divorce is a difficult issue for a couple divorcing. Children are usually the last to learn about their parents impending separation or divorce before it happens. The family that they have known all their lives is about to be turned on it’s head and this is sprung on them all at once.

Parents usually are well intentioned – they are afraid and don’t know what to say. They are afraid their children won’t understand, that they will burden the children with their problems, that the information will add to their hurt. So parents wait, they put off telling their children until the last minute and by then events gather momentum and the kids get a few words at the last minute. The reasons for waiting are understandable but they don’t help. Your children need to know and as much as possible they need to understand. Only with understanding can they adapt to the new conditions in a healthy way.

You need to have a discussion with your spouse and be certain that you are separating. If you might be separating then it is not the right time to tell them. After the decision is firm then you need to decide where the children will live and how you will parent them even if it is only temporary. When you have these things talk to your children.

Have a family meeting and tell the children together. Even though the family may be breaking it is good if the children can see that their parents both still love and care about them and that they are working together as parents. They will understand that you are still in charge and that here is a free and open opportunity to discuss what is happening. Providing them with this stability is an important thing for you and your spouse to do.

Tell them that you are divorcing, that you’ve been unhappy and unable to work things out. Remind them that they are not losing either of their parents and that you both still love them. Parents divorce each other but not their children and both of you will continue to spend time with them.

Encourage them to ask questions and express their feelings. Suppressing the deep feelings present can result in children acting out and making an already difficult situation worse. But a healthy venting of the emotions can help your kids throughout their lives to be able to talk about feelings and relate better to their worlds.

What is the best divorce advice for men? Find resources that let you take in the process and how it works, how to talk to your kids about it. Information that allows you to plan and manage your divorce. Information that allows you to plan ahead and protect yourself and your children.

http://www.formendivorce.com/DivorceForMen/ is divorce advice for men, it is tactics and strategy, but also how to handle the even more difficult things like children and divorce – talking to your kids to be sure they come out OK too.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Renee_Pullman
http://EzineArticles.com/?Divorce-Advice-For-Men—Children-and-Divorce&id=3580474