Divorce For Men, How to Break Free of Your Own Destructive Thoughts and Take Charge of Your Divorce

By Renee Pullman

The deck is stacked against men in divorce court. Just last week an acquittance was shutdown by the judge and not fully allowed to tell his story. He had gotten angry, did something stupid, and now his battle is even more uphill.

In dissolving a marriage, emotions are all wrapped around your future and it is tough to see right from wrong. You want to take action and protect your family all the while it is being torn apart by the woman that you loved, or perhaps still do love. You want to protect that relationship and it is painful that it is being torn up.

The facts are you need to protect your future. There is a life for you on the other side of the divorce but not if you throw it away with self-destructive behavior, stupid actions, and doing things to take care of her. Face it – she is out for herself.

What you need to do now is slow your thoughts down and trust.

How do you slow your thoughts down?

The easiest way I know is thought replacement. Your mind is racing off on a tragic end to everything and that is all you can see or think of. This is where you replace that thought with an answer. If you are religious then follow Norman Vincent Peale’s ideas about using scriptures. Your response might b e “I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me.” Not religious, not Christian, no problem, the same strategy works with great quotes that have meaning for you. Great quotes like Emerson’s: “do the thing and you shall have the power,” or Perseus, “he conquers who endures.” Find some meaningful quotes that empower you and use them over and over, as needed, to answer these destructive thoughts. Do this because you need to take smart action and not action out of fear or anger. You need this to anchor you and to keep you looking forward.

Now that you are managing yourself, begin to think of what you want out of this, what you need to support your new life. Take this information and begin to manage your divorce, manage your lawyer. Don’t think you can get a satisfactory outcome by outsourcing your divorce to your attorney, no, no, no. Attorneys are busy and you need to stay on top of it to be sure it is done correctly.

These are the first steps to winning your divorce when you are ready for the next step just click the link or go directly to http://www.formendivorce.com/.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Renee_Pullman
http://EzineArticles.com/?Divorce-For-Men,-How-to-Break-Free-of-Your-Own-Destructive-Thoughts-and-Take-Charge-of-Your-Divorce&id=4635834

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How to Get Him Back After a Break Up – Relationship Problem Advice

By Renee Pullman

I saw a terrible fight today between a young couple who are friends of mine – they have a baby together and were trying to make it.

He had left home the morning before to see about a problem with their car, he last talked to her at 9pm. He was talking to a mechanic about the car trouble. By midnight he hadn’t called back, wasn’t answering his phone, and she was upset. She didn’t hear from him until early afternoon on the next day and so it was goodbye. She had all of his stuff packed up and ready to go when he came in. She told him to leave gave him a note saying she hated him and regretted it the rest of the day.

It sounds like he has something to hide doesn’t it? Yet, it turns out he just acted stupid or perhaps was a victim of circumstance, you can decide.

After the mechanic, he went by his mothers and fell asleep on her couch – of course his cell phone had run down and wasn’t receiving calls and the baby had kept them both up for several nights in a row and both were tired and stressed. His mom went to work early the next day and he slept on. The next afternoon he went home to the fiery welcome.

It has been several days now and while I believe this will work out I’m not sure.

Where is the blame? All night long she was alone with the baby and worried about him. At some point her inner conversation turned from concern to “why is he doing this to me?”

On the previous day he had left a stressful situation with the baby, happy to get away and onto some manly thing like fixing the car. He had avoided calling because he didn’t want to hear any more about it just then.

So the trap was set, two parties in a relationship who care about and love each other but who have not yet learned to look far enough beyond themselves to see the whole situation before playing their big card in the game, the biggest card they both have – anger. In their families it was one of the big ways to settle things, get mad first and get what you want.

She is still mad because now he is not fulfilling his obligation to help with the baby and is getting off Scott free. He says he never wants to see her again.

This situation could have been avoided with better communication skills. It is a common response with many couples to never really talk through annoying situations and then when something a little bigger happens they play the anger card first. The other person then retaliates in kind and it all spirals out of control with no clear way to reel it back in.

You can learn how to get him back after a breakup by discovering better ways to communicate both with yourself and within your relationship. Just click on the link or go directly to http://www.TheMagicOfMakingUpFast.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Renee_Pullman
http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Get-Him-Back-After-a-Break-Up—Relationship-Problem-Advice&id=4660789

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Divorce For Men, Know Your Outcome and Win in Divorce Court

By Renee Pullman

Maybe you didn’t see this coming, maybe you felt blindsided when your wife filed for divorce. None of that matters right now. What matters right now is getting a good plan going to deal with it.

Divorce for men is not the level playing field that you might suppose, there is a cultural, legal, and first filer advantage in divorce court. Since women file for divorce at twice the rate of men, the deck is stacked in their favor, but all is not lost. Get an effective plan:

The plan is nothing, planning is everything.

Those words belong to Dwight David Eisenhower and that is what he had to say about the D-Day plan. General Eisenhower mounted the greatest invasion in military history knowing that his plan was full of danger and that many parts of it just would not work, yet it was necessary to plan. I order to plan he needed the best intelligence and information he could get about what he faced on the other side of the English Channel. The deck was stacked against the Allies just as it is for a man in divorce court and the same kind attention to detail, the same understanding of the processes will also lead to your victory.

Planning out and managing your divorce is especially important and here is an important point. You cannot outsource this. Hire an attorney but don’t just leave it up to him. Learn the ins and outs of divorce; learn what is possible – how you can win, and how men get screwed. The wrong thing done here or there can literally cost you thousands of dollars.

Learn the process and determine your outcome then set the strategies to get there. You have a life on the other side of the divorce and you want to come to that life prepared to live it. You don’t want to come out of divorce court stripped and humiliated and owing a lot of money to her.

When you hire an attorney be prepared to manage the case with him. Attorneys are hard working people. They want to do a good job for you but face it, you are one small case to him. Keep on top of things yourself and be sure is doesn’t just bargain your future away so he can earn a quick fee and get on to something else. Really learn the process, make the plans, and get him to help you make it so.

Divorce for men doesn’t have to mean the go to court and lose strategy that many men seem to use. You really can win this thing. Just click the link or go directly to http://www.ForMenDivorce.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Renee_Pullman
http://EzineArticles.com/?Divorce-For-Men,-Know-Your-Outcome-and-Win-in-Divorce-Court&id=4602896

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Divorce For Men, She is Out For Herself, Divorce Tactics to Help You Win the Divorce

By Renee Pullman

Your wife has filed for divorce (women do this 2 to 1 over men). Now she seems to want everything that matters to you and a huge chunk of everything you might earn in the future. This is where a lot of men get upset and afraid. This is a shock and awe technique that her attorney has learned at the sleaze school of divorce.

Do women win these kinds of settlements? You bet they do. The man gets hit with this sort of thing and gets stupid. He does some dumb things, she gets a restraining order and he is put out of his house. He looks bad in the eyes of the judge and perhaps even to his own attorney.

The guy is there grieving over lost love and now gets hit over the head. Maybe he’ll start drinking more, get depressed, or any of a number of self-destructive behaviors that all work to her advantage. All of it hurts him.

  1. She does not love you
  2. She does not really care what happens to you
  3. She is out for herself
  4. She wants you as her personal ongoing income source

To be honest most divorces are much more civil, but this kind of thing goes on and there are many sob stories out on the net of just this kind of thing. Whether it happens all the time or not, the lessons are there that apply to everyone.

The fact is she will not have your interests at heart anymore; she is rightly out for herself. The same should be true for you and you need to get on this thing and work it to your advantage. This means learning the ins and outs of divorce and how you can use this information to your advantage, for example: when you hire a divorce attorney.

Do you know the questions to ask when you are shopping for an attorney? Do you know enough about the process to help plan an effective divorce strategy – and more important, do you know enough to manage the attorney and manage your case? This is one area where men run into problems. They try to outsource the whole divorce and while you might want to let someone handle it and hope the whole thing goes away, it is a poor strategy.

You can get stuck with thousands of dollars in extras if you don’t stay on top of things and understand it all as it goes down.

Divorce for men doesn’t have to be the go to court and lose strategy that many men seem to use. You really can win this thing. Just click the link or go directly to http://www.ForMenDivorce.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Renee_Pullman
http://EzineArticles.com/?Divorce-For-Men,-She-is-Out-For-Herself,-Divorce-Tactics-to-Help-You-Win-the-Divorce&id=4602933

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Get Your Wife Back, Secrets of Restoring Your Marriage

By Renee Pullman

She has left and you are wondering, how to get your wife back. You love her but feel like you’ve been blindsided but you are willing to forgive. At some point you need to ask questions about what kind of relationship that you had and should you forgive. But for now let’s get past that and talk about how to go about getting the relationship back.

What happened, what was the thing that caused the breakup, what was your part, what things have you done to contribute to the breakup? There are always two parts to a breakup, often one partner is more at blame than the other but at some point these things feed each other. For example she overspends and you bitch at her. You come home late and you get a similar treatment from her. This type of action-response is getting your marriage nowhere and is the thing that has pushed you apart.

For months you may have been asking yourself, “how do you get your wife to love you, how do you get your wife to have sex with you?” Now she’s gone and you blame yourself. These kinds of things are symptoms and not causes of a breakup. These are reasons to let you know that your relationship is headed the wrong way. Instead of looking for those answers you need to look beyond and why those symptoms exist. For a successful treatment the doctor has to look at what is causing the problem and not just treat the symptoms. If you itch and scratch it and it turns out the itch was from poison ivy then you have done exactly the wrong thing. It is the same with relationships, you must learn to look beyond the symptoms and really understand what is happening.

Couples come into relationships with different expectations and with different needs and motivations. Failure to understand how you can meet each others needs is a recipe for a broken relationship either now or in the future. This is not just true for marriages but also for people who have just met. If you find your relationships fail to last then you need to consider this information carefully.

As to getting your wife back you need a solid plan. First, approach with confidence. No woman truly wants a clinging wimp who begs her to come back. Allow a little space while you get your head together and decide what it is that you really want out of a relationship. Then try to understand her needs and expectations and whether these are a good fit for yours. Now you have the basis of a discussion with her and you are ready to move forward and get your wife back.

How can you get your wifte back? Logic doesn’t work, discover the process of understanding that will bring her home to you. Click the link or just visit http://www.TheMagicOfMakingUpFast.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Renee_Pullman
http://EzineArticles.com/?Get-Your-Wife-Back,-Secrets-of-Restoring-Your-Marriage&id=4419788

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