By Renee Pullman

Communication is the key to any relationship. This goes well beyond any man-woman relationship; it is a timeless tenant for any organization including men and women. A broken relationship will result if you don’t communicate, listen, and understand each other.

Lack of understanding can come about because even though you may both speak English you may relate to the world in different ways. The science of neuro linguistic programming teaches us that there are three main types of oral communications between people:

1. Visual

2. Auditory

3. Kinesthetic or feeling

These levels are based on our senses and the senses that we favor as we process the world.

Most of us communicate on a visual level. They may use expressions like, “yes I can see that” or “I see what you are saying,” and other ways involving visual words.

The next largest group of us communicates using auditory methods. This group uses phrases like: “I hear you,” and similar audio based words.

The smallest group, Kinesthetic, use feeling expressions like: “I feel that we should go to a movie.” I feel, it touches me, and so on.

What is your portal to the world? Do you relate mostly by what you see, what you hear, or what you feel? Do you know that these are filters? When you talk to others if they relate mostly by feel and you see their point while they feel yours then it becomes more difficult for the two of you to relate to each other.

The next thing to consider is non-verbal communications. This means noticing both the tone of the response as well as body language. Someone may say yes in agreement but say it with such a tone that you know they don’t really mean it. Their body language will speak here as well. Arms crossed and a stern tone of voice gives an entirely different message than just the word “yes.”

When you and your partner communicate do you really understand each other? Check if you say, “I see” and your partner says “I feel” or “I hear you.” Look at them as you speak, see what their eyes do, how they move their body. Really notice what is going on because, yes communication takes place on all of these levels.

Watch how you communicate as well. We all unconsciously give clues to what is going on in our heads by the words we use, the intonation of them, and our movements, expressions, and other physiology.

Picking up these new kinds of listening skills can help you in your relationship and in life because you will understand more deeply what is going on in your communications. Our communications determine expectations for each other. Bad communications and crushed expectations means a broken relationship almost every time.

Saving A relationship is made easier when you understand the right ways of communicating. Discover the secrets of relationships by clicking the link or just go directly to http://www.TheMagicOfMakingUpFast.com. Visit us and get your free relationship report and access to a special relationship video.

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By Renee Pullman

Divorce for men can be one of the most upsetting experiences of your life but I’m here to tell you to relax. The only reason your wife and her divorce attorney can torture you is because you assist them.

Many men when caught in the divorce trap respond on their emotions. Funny how men are supposed to be so unemotional, but they cry, grieve, and worry as much or more than women. Society, though has told them that “big boys don’t cry.” And so they do their best to hold it in which makes it more likely to come out as anger. If it does, her divorce attorney will love it. You have given him exactly what he needs to begin to cause you real trouble.

The fact is if you understand what is happening and what your options are, if you understand that you need to keep on top of your case and act in a rational manner, rather than emotionally, then you can prevail. Your wife’s attorney will wonder what happened.

Here are some tips.

1. If you are having trouble reigning in your emotions tough it out and get help. If you need to talk to someone then do it. This could be a friend who is not prone to anger and who has good judgment or you may want to find some professional help.

2. Figure out how you want this divorce to end. You need to bring stuff out of the marriage for your new and better life on the other side of it. The point of this is you need to plan without restriction and then study the ways you can make it happen. Remember that you will not make it happen with anger, particularly if you act on the anger. It doesn’t matter what the provocation might be – suck it up.

3. Learn all of the procedures, techniques, and nuance of the divorce process. As you learn this you will feel more confident of an outcome that you can live with. This will further help you with your emotions and anger over the divorce. Understanding will put you out of anger mode and back in control.

You may be – being accused of some outlandish things, perhaps you’ve done something stupid out of grief or anger and have been put out of your home, follow the steps and relief will follow as you gain control and make better decisions about the divorce and about your future.

Divorce for men can be a brutal process if you are not informed. Learn how it works and how you can gain an edge as you work through your divorce. Discover divorce secrets that her divorce lawyer doesn’t want you to know and win your divorce. Click the link or visit http://www.Squidoo.com/DivorceForMen.

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By Renee Pullman

Are you still friends with your ex wife? It’s a start but it may still be difficult to get a date with her. It didn’t work out the first time and she may still not have forgiven you for whatever it is that drove the two of you apart. That can be a real barrier to the idea of another romantic relationship with you.

But if you really do want to get a date with your ex wife then here are some ideas that will increase your chances of success. Be sure to put all four of these ideas into play as they will give you the greatest opportunity for success.

Make a Plan

You need to know what you are going to do. This will help you keep your emotions under control. If she shoots you down at first, you will know where to go next because this could be a trying process. A plan can also give you confidence while attempting to win your ex wife back.

Establish Regular Communications

You need to have regular contact with your ex wife. If you just show up one day and ask her on a date then you are more likely to be shot down. So find a way to develop regular communication before you ask her out.

Be Polite When You Ask

When the time is right and you finally ask her out, be polite and respectful. If she refuses maintain that stance, show class. Class keeps you in the game, keeps you in position to continue to work the plan.

Let Her Be In Charge of the Date

If she agrees to a date then allow her to pick the date time and what you will do on the date. She may like things better if she has control over the planning.

How can I get a date with my ex wife? Make a plan and follow through. President Eisenhower said of D-Day, “The plan is nothing, planning is everything.” There were lots of setbacks and things that didn’t work out as the Allies invaded Europe but “The Plan” gave them the confidence to push on. As you work your plan, establish communications with your ex, find a polite and respectful way to ask her out – but only after you have regular communications with her, finally let her keep control over the date.

The ideas above will help you be successful in a date and in getting your ex wife back.

“How can i get a date with my ex wife” is a question that many men come to. Discover the secrets of relationships and of getting your ex wife back by clicking the link or just go directly to http://www.TheMagicOfMakingUpFast.com.

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By Renee Pullman

In this article we are going to look at some things you can do to get your lover back. First, though, you have to consider why you broke up: was it abuse, infidelity, or just something stupid that got blown out of proportion? Answer that question and consider if you should make up again. If you still want to get your lover back then look at understanding what went wrong.

Do the two of you still talk or is there animosity between you? Then the next steps to take, what are they and where you can find out more. Remember though, no matter how bad things may seem there is always hope with the right plan. What happened?

Was it a money or communications problem, these are possibly the biggest issues that couples face. Did you get slighted or did your partner. Was an inappropriate comment further misinterpreted? Perhaps you thought your partner was talking about you when they weren’t. Or maybe it was the other way round and what you said seems innocent to you and yet your partner came unhinged. Did one of you blow a lot of money or are you just jammed in with bills that you are having trouble with.

I have a friend who is overly sensitive. Even the wrong tone can sometimes set her off. If it sounds like she needs help, you are right and she is getting it. Thing is even though this sensitivity is at a very high level with her that most of us are like this just to a lesser degree. If our inner voice starts up and we begin to think that everyone is talking about us, or starts and decides that the conclusion of any situation will be the worst thing possible then it drives us to feeling bad and possibly into depression. My friend is learning to interrupt those conversations with another interpretation. This approach keeps her from quick and condemning judgment.

If the two of you still talk then you can approach the subject of getting together a little more directly but still tactfully, ask your ex what happened and get their perspective. If you are apart, I hope you are not chasing your ex. There is not a faster way on the planet to permanently separate the two of you than persistently chasing them, perhaps even begging. It that is you stop right now while you work on yourself. You need to restore your confidence and work on your perspective. Give yourself the focus and do a 30 day makeover. Redo whatever it is that you have ever wanted to do. Begin to get fit, get new clothes, begin a class, or whatever – start the path that you want to take. This both improves you and allows you to take your mind off your ex while you take a break for a few weeks.

After the thirty days you should begin feeling your ex out. Perhaps invite them for coffee and you can bring up the subject of getting together again.

There are many things to do to get your lover back. Discover the next steps to making up on your terms by clicking the link or just go directly to http://www.TheMagicOfMakingUpFast.com

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By Renee Pullman

If you are broken up and looking for ways of getting back with an ex, then I can tell you that this is very possible. There is a proven formula that works quite well. Nothing is perfect and certainly there are so many variables in relationships that I cannot promise that this will work. I can say that these techniques will give you the greatest possibility of success.

Deal With The Anger And Frustration

When couples break up there is a lot of anger present. Your emotions tell you to jump out there and do something and do it now. Many wind up texting and calling many times a day. Others try to show up where they think their ex might be. Sometimes so they can tell the story one more time. The story, why you should come back, why you were wrong, or how it can be better. This high emotions clouds the vision of what is really going on. What is really going on is that these kinds of efforts are driving them farther away – keep it up and you will never get your ex back.

Showing Up Where Your Ex Is

It seems right that if you show up where you know your ex might be that you can talk to them and all will be well. This is another failure strategy. Your ex may begin to believe that you are stalking them and will be uncomfortable with it. It is also possible that you may not be able to restrain yourself and wind up in an argument.

To succeed at getting back with an ex you have to reel yourself back a bit. Stop doing these things, resolve to have no contact with your ex either in person or by calling. It maybe that you run into them by accident and if you do be polite and move on.

The First Steps To Getting Back With An Ex

This idea of shutting down the calls and tracking them seems against logic, but really it is not. Why pile more arguments and perhaps begging on top of what you have already done. Your ex will soon begin to lose any remaining respect for you and more and more you will appear controlling, manipulative, needy, and clingy all at the same time. You will literally drive them away. This is why you need to take a break for three or four weeks. The other thing that happens with this break is they will begin to think about the good times the two of you had together. They will begin to miss you, perhaps just a little, and that is certainly better than dreading seeing you or getting a call, text or email.

You need to do something during this time, so work on yourself. How would you most like to improve yourself, that is the thing to work on. Believe in yourself enough that you will take this time, restore your confidence, and pick up this proven strategy refreshed.

Learn the next steps to getting back with an ex. Getting your relationship back is something that is possible but not in the way that most people go about it. Discover the next steps, click the link or just visit http://www.TheMagicOfMakingUpFast.com/.

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By Renee Pullman

The deck is stacked against men in divorce court. Just last week an acquittance was shutdown by the judge and not fully allowed to tell his story. He had gotten angry, did something stupid, and now his battle is even more uphill.

In dissolving a marriage, emotions are all wrapped around your future and it is tough to see right from wrong. You want to take action and protect your family all the while it is being torn apart by the woman that you loved, or perhaps still do love. You want to protect that relationship and it is painful that it is being torn up.

The facts are you need to protect your future. There is a life for you on the other side of the divorce but not if you throw it away with self-destructive behavior, stupid actions, and doing things to take care of her. Face it – she is out for herself.

What you need to do now is slow your thoughts down and trust.

How do you slow your thoughts down?

The easiest way I know is thought replacement. Your mind is racing off on a tragic end to everything and that is all you can see or think of. This is where you replace that thought with an answer. If you are religious then follow Norman Vincent Peale’s ideas about using scriptures. Your response might b e “I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me.” Not religious, not Christian, no problem, the same strategy works with great quotes that have meaning for you. Great quotes like Emerson’s: “do the thing and you shall have the power,” or Perseus, “he conquers who endures.” Find some meaningful quotes that empower you and use them over and over, as needed, to answer these destructive thoughts. Do this because you need to take smart action and not action out of fear or anger. You need this to anchor you and to keep you looking forward.

Now that you are managing yourself, begin to think of what you want out of this, what you need to support your new life. Take this information and begin to manage your divorce, manage your lawyer. Don’t think you can get a satisfactory outcome by outsourcing your divorce to your attorney, no, no, no. Attorneys are busy and you need to stay on top of it to be sure it is done correctly.

These are the first steps to winning your divorce when you are ready for the next step just click the link or go directly to http://www.formendivorce.com/.

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By Renee Pullman

I saw a terrible fight today between a young couple who are friends of mine – they have a baby together and were trying to make it.

He had left home the morning before to see about a problem with their car, he last talked to her at 9pm. He was talking to a mechanic about the car trouble. By midnight he hadn’t called back, wasn’t answering his phone, and she was upset. She didn’t hear from him until early afternoon on the next day and so it was goodbye. She had all of his stuff packed up and ready to go when he came in. She told him to leave gave him a note saying she hated him and regretted it the rest of the day.

It sounds like he has something to hide doesn’t it? Yet, it turns out he just acted stupid or perhaps was a victim of circumstance, you can decide.

After the mechanic, he went by his mothers and fell asleep on her couch – of course his cell phone had run down and wasn’t receiving calls and the baby had kept them both up for several nights in a row and both were tired and stressed. His mom went to work early the next day and he slept on. The next afternoon he went home to the fiery welcome.

It has been several days now and while I believe this will work out I’m not sure.

Where is the blame? All night long she was alone with the baby and worried about him. At some point her inner conversation turned from concern to “why is he doing this to me?”

On the previous day he had left a stressful situation with the baby, happy to get away and onto some manly thing like fixing the car. He had avoided calling because he didn’t want to hear any more about it just then.

So the trap was set, two parties in a relationship who care about and love each other but who have not yet learned to look far enough beyond themselves to see the whole situation before playing their big card in the game, the biggest card they both have – anger. In their families it was one of the big ways to settle things, get mad first and get what you want.

She is still mad because now he is not fulfilling his obligation to help with the baby and is getting off Scott free. He says he never wants to see her again.

This situation could have been avoided with better communication skills. It is a common response with many couples to never really talk through annoying situations and then when something a little bigger happens they play the anger card first. The other person then retaliates in kind and it all spirals out of control with no clear way to reel it back in.

You can learn how to get him back after a breakup by discovering better ways to communicate both with yourself and within your relationship. Just click on the link or go directly to http://www.TheMagicOfMakingUpFast.com.

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By Renee Pullman

Maybe you didn’t see this coming, maybe you felt blindsided when your wife filed for divorce. None of that matters right now. What matters right now is getting a good plan going to deal with it.

Divorce for men is not the level playing field that you might suppose, there is a cultural, legal, and first filer advantage in divorce court. Since women file for divorce at twice the rate of men, the deck is stacked in their favor, but all is not lost. Get an effective plan:

The plan is nothing, planning is everything.

Those words belong to Dwight David Eisenhower and that is what he had to say about the D-Day plan. General Eisenhower mounted the greatest invasion in military history knowing that his plan was full of danger and that many parts of it just would not work, yet it was necessary to plan. I order to plan he needed the best intelligence and information he could get about what he faced on the other side of the English Channel. The deck was stacked against the Allies just as it is for a man in divorce court and the same kind attention to detail, the same understanding of the processes will also lead to your victory.

Planning out and managing your divorce is especially important and here is an important point. You cannot outsource this. Hire an attorney but don’t just leave it up to him. Learn the ins and outs of divorce; learn what is possible – how you can win, and how men get screwed. The wrong thing done here or there can literally cost you thousands of dollars.

Learn the process and determine your outcome then set the strategies to get there. You have a life on the other side of the divorce and you want to come to that life prepared to live it. You don’t want to come out of divorce court stripped and humiliated and owing a lot of money to her.

When you hire an attorney be prepared to manage the case with him. Attorneys are hard working people. They want to do a good job for you but face it, you are one small case to him. Keep on top of things yourself and be sure is doesn’t just bargain your future away so he can earn a quick fee and get on to something else. Really learn the process, make the plans, and get him to help you make it so.

Divorce for men doesn’t have to mean the go to court and lose strategy that many men seem to use. You really can win this thing. Just click the link or go directly to http://www.ForMenDivorce.com

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http://EzineArticles.com/?Divorce-For-Men,-Know-Your-Outcome-and-Win-in-Divorce-Court&id=4602896

By Renee Pullman

Your wife has filed for divorce (women do this 2 to 1 over men). Now she seems to want everything that matters to you and a huge chunk of everything you might earn in the future. This is where a lot of men get upset and afraid. This is a shock and awe technique that her attorney has learned at the sleaze school of divorce.

Do women win these kinds of settlements? You bet they do. The man gets hit with this sort of thing and gets stupid. He does some dumb things, she gets a restraining order and he is put out of his house. He looks bad in the eyes of the judge and perhaps even to his own attorney.

The guy is there grieving over lost love and now gets hit over the head. Maybe he’ll start drinking more, get depressed, or any of a number of self-destructive behaviors that all work to her advantage. All of it hurts him.

1. She does not love you
2. She does not really care what happens to you
3. She is out for herself
4. She wants you as her personal ongoing income source

To be honest most divorces are much more civil, but this kind of thing goes on and there are many sob stories out on the net of just this kind of thing. Whether it happens all the time or not, the lessons are there that apply to everyone.

The fact is she will not have your interests at heart anymore; she is rightly out for herself. The same should be true for you and you need to get on this thing and work it to your advantage. This means learning the ins and outs of divorce and how you can use this information to your advantage, for example: when you hire a divorce attorney.

Do you know the questions to ask when you are shopping for an attorney? Do you know enough about the process to help plan an effective divorce strategy – and more important, do you know enough to manage the attorney and manage your case? This is one area where men run into problems. They try to outsource the whole divorce and while you might want to let someone handle it and hope the whole thing goes away, it is a poor strategy.

You can get stuck with thousands of dollars in extras if you don’t stay on top of things and understand it all as it goes down.

Divorce for men doesn’t have to be the go to court and lose strategy that many men seem to use. You really can win this thing. Just click the link or go directly to http://www.ForMenDivorce.com.

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