Divorce for men can be one of the most upsetting experiences of your life but I’m here to tell you to relax. The only reason your wife and her divorce attorney can torture you is because you assist them.
Many men when caught in the divorce trap respond on their emotions. Funny how men are supposed to be so unemotional, but they cry, grieve, and worry as much or more than women. Society, though has told them that “big boys don’t cry.” And so they do their best to hold it in which makes it more likely to come out as anger. If it does, her divorce attorney will love it. You have given him exactly what he needs to begin to cause you real trouble.
The fact is if you understand what is happening and what your options are, if you understand that you need to keep on top of your case and act in a rational manner, rather than emotionally, then you can prevail. Your wife’s attorney will wonder what happened.
Here are some tips.
1. If you are having trouble reigning in your emotions tough it out and get help. If you need to talk to someone then do it. This could be a friend who is not prone to anger and who has good judgment or you may want to find some professional help.
2. Figure out how you want this divorce to end. You need to bring stuff out of the marriage for your new and better life on the other side of it. The point of this is you need to plan without restriction and then study the ways you can make it happen. Remember that you will not make it happen with anger, particularly if you act on the anger. It doesn’t matter what the provocation might be – suck it up.
3. Learn all of the procedures, techniques, and nuance of the divorce process. As you learn this you will feel more confident of an outcome that you can live with. This will further help you with your emotions and anger over the divorce. Understanding will put you out of anger mode and back in control.
You may be – being accused of some outlandish things, perhaps you’ve done something stupid out of grief or anger and have been put out of your home, follow the steps and relief will follow as you gain control and make better decisions about the divorce and about your future.
Divorce for men can be a brutal process if you are not informed. Learn how it works and how you can gain an edge as you work through your divorce. Discover divorce secrets that her divorce lawyer doesn’t want you to know and win your divorce. Click the link or visit http://www.Squidoo.com/DivorceForMen.
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Bad Communications = a Broken Relationship, Learn How to Really Connect With Your Lover
By Renee Pullman
Communication is the key to any relationship. This goes well beyond any man-woman relationship; it is a timeless tenant for any organization including men and women. A broken relationship will result if you don’t communicate, listen, and understand each other.
Lack of understanding can come about because even though you may both speak English you may relate to the world in different ways. The science of neuro linguistic programming teaches us that there are three main types of oral communications between people:
1. Visual
2. Auditory
3. Kinesthetic or feeling
These levels are based on our senses and the senses that we favor as we process the world.
Most of us communicate on a visual level. They may use expressions like, “yes I can see that” or “I see what you are saying,” and other ways involving visual words.
The next largest group of us communicates using auditory methods. This group uses phrases like: “I hear you,” and similar audio based words.
The smallest group, Kinesthetic, use feeling expressions like: “I feel that we should go to a movie.” I feel, it touches me, and so on.
What is your portal to the world? Do you relate mostly by what you see, what you hear, or what you feel? Do you know that these are filters? When you talk to others if they relate mostly by feel and you see their point while they feel yours then it becomes more difficult for the two of you to relate to each other.
The next thing to consider is non-verbal communications. This means noticing both the tone of the response as well as body language. Someone may say yes in agreement but say it with such a tone that you know they don’t really mean it. Their body language will speak here as well. Arms crossed and a stern tone of voice gives an entirely different message than just the word “yes.”
When you and your partner communicate do you really understand each other? Check if you say, “I see” and your partner says “I feel” or “I hear you.” Look at them as you speak, see what their eyes do, how they move their body. Really notice what is going on because, yes communication takes place on all of these levels.
Watch how you communicate as well. We all unconsciously give clues to what is going on in our heads by the words we use, the intonation of them, and our movements, expressions, and other physiology.
Picking up these new kinds of listening skills can help you in your relationship and in life because you will understand more deeply what is going on in your communications. Our communications determine expectations for each other. Bad communications and crushed expectations means a broken relationship almost every time.
Saving A relationship is made easier when you understand the right ways of communicating. Discover the secrets of relationships by clicking the link or just go directly to http://www.TheMagicOfMakingUpFast.com. Visit us and get your free relationship report and access to a special relationship video.
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